OLD RADIO ANNOUNCERS AND DISC JOCKEYS-
Do you remember...
Magnecord 5 inch Reel To Reel Taperecorders that you used when working the "board" to record network radio shows? When the 30 minute net show concluded you rewound the tape on machine 1 while starting machine 2 to record another show while reading a 30, 20 and 10 second commercials. After reading the spots you played the recorded net show on recorder 1 without hitting any dead air!
You were first hired by a GM who actually worked in radio before becoming GM.
Radio stations were no place for kids.
You excitedly turn the radio up at the sound of "dead air" on the competitor's station.
Sales guys wore Old Spice to cover the smell of liquor.
You were playing Elvis' number one hits when he was alive.
Engineers could actually fix things without sending them back to the manufacturer.
You worked for only ONE station, and you could name the guy who owned it.
You remember when normal people listened to AM radio, and only "hippies" listened to FM.
Radio stations used to have enough on-air talent to field a softball team every summer.
You're at least 10 years older than the last two GM's who fired you.
You used to smoke in a radio station and nobody cared.
Engineers always had the worst body odor, not because they worked too hard, but because they just didn't shower that often.
You can name at least 2 receptionists that you nailed who now have grandchildren.
You know the difference between good reel-to-reel tape and cheap reel-to-reel tape.
Religious radio stations were locally owned, run by an old Protestant minister and his wife, never had more than 20 listeners at any given time, and still made money.
You have a white wax pencil, a razor blade, and a spool of 3M splicing tape in your desk drawer - - just in case.
You know people who actually listened to baseball games on the radio.
You can post a record, run down the hall, go to the bathroom, and be back in 2:50 for the segue.
The new guy you're training has never listened to an AM station. He couldn't even name one in his own home town if his life depended on it.
You knew exactly where to put the tone on the end of a carted song.
You spent most of the time on Friday nights giving out the high school football scores. And when they weren't phoned-in, you got really pissed off.
You never thought twice about drinking from the same bottle with another DJ.
You only did "make-goods" if the client complained. Otherwise, who cares?
You can remember the name of the very first "girl" that was hired in your market as a DJ. (Margaret? Leilani?)
Somebody would say, "You have a face for radio", and it was still funny.
Sixty percent of your wardrobe has a station logo on it.
You always had a screwdriver in the studio so you could take a fouled-up cart apart at a moment's notice.
Agents were people like James Bond and the Man From Uncle.
You would spend hours splicing and editing a parody tape until it was "just right", but didn't give a damn how bad that commercial was you recorded. Hey, I can only work with what they give me, right?
You still refer to CDs as "records".
Dinner? Let's see what the last shift left for me in the refrigerator.
The only interaction between you and someone else prior to bedtime is, "Thank you. Please pull ahead to the second window."
Your family thinks you're successful, but you know better.
You played practical jokes on the air without fear of lawsuits.
You've been married at least 3 times, or, never married at all.
You answer your home phone with the station call letters.
You used to fight with the news guy over air-time. After all, what was more important: your joke about your ex-wife, or that tornado warning?
You knew how to change the ribbon on the teletype machine, but you hated to do it because "...that's the news guy's job."
You had listeners who only tuned in for the news, and not you. You could never figure that out.
You know at least 3 people in sales that take credit for you keeping your job.
You remember when "Rock" wasn't a bunch of guys who look and sound more like girls.
You have several old air-check cassettes in a cardboard box in your closet that you wouldn't dream of letting anyone hear anymore, but, you'll never throw them out or tape over them. Never!
You can still see scars on your finger when you got cut using a razor blade and cleaned out the cut with head-cleaning alcohol and an extra long cotton swab on a wooden stick.
You still have dreams of a song running out and not being able to find the control room door.
You've ever told a listener "Yeah. I'll get that right on for you."
You have a couple of old transistor radios around the house with corroded batteries inside them.
People who ride in your car exclaim, "Why is your radio so loud?"
You remember how upset people used to get about Richard Nixon.
You have at least 19 pictures of you with famous people whom you haven't seen since, and wouldn't know you today if you bit 'em on the ass.
You wish you could have been on "Name That Tune" because you would have won a million bucks.
You even REMEMBER "Name That Tune".
You were a half an hour late for an appearance and blamed it on the directions you received from the sales person.
You've run a phone contest and nobody called, so you made up a name and gave the tickets to your cousin.
You remember when people actually thought radio was important.
An essential tonearm-balancing tool was a penny. "Who stole the damn penny again!"
You cued the next announcer's theme song to give him time to get into the chair. (Mine was "Mr. Lucky" by Henry Mancini. One of our newer songs.)
Minimum wage laws did not apply to radio stations, restaurants, and movie theaters. The poster in the bathroom said so!
Your bright orange sports coat with the station logo was the only coat you had.
You did production on the audition channel while segueing an LP on the "air" channel.
You had to pass a test that asked if you should pour water on a smoldering control board.
Legal ID's were given on the hour and on the half-hour, regardless!
Downtown stores would not cash checks, or extend credit to announcers.
The contest line was the only telephone line the station had.
DJ's were canned for letting a "damn" or "hell" slip out on the air.
The program dayparts had names. i.e. "Homemaker Melodies" "The Clockwatcher"
Part of your job included doing a "Swap Shop/Trading Station" show.
Your network feed came on a phone line looped through 7 other stations before it got to you, making the fidelity about the same as McDonald's drive-through.
You remember "CBS Sports Central USA"
You know who Brother John Rivers is...or Earl Nightengale.
Every remote was done on a program loop, installed by a telephone guy the day of the remote. You had the number to the local telephone test board posted at the station. And, if you called it in the middle of the night, someone would be there to answer.
You like the smell of fresh reel to reel tape.
Your station traded out for jingles from Pepper-Tanner.
You read lost dog announcements on the "Pet Patrol."
You remember when an EBS test involved shutting off the carrier of the transmitter for a few seconds.
You know what Conelrad is.
Your station had a bomb shelter paid for by Civil Defense.
The owner of the station sometimes pulled a board shift.
You ever judged a local "Voice of Democracy" essay contest.
You've ever done play by play of a parade...or fireworks...on the radio.
You read the livestock prices from National Stockyards at East St. Louis every day on the air.
All the big rock stations you listened to had a reverb on the mic channel.
You shut the audio of the station off for a few seconds on sunday night so some guy in Indiana or Missouri could measure your station's frequency.
Your station routinely signed off on Sunday night.
You read commercial copy LIVE from a copy book that was in alphabetical order (more or less).
You knew how far in to pot up a record so the cue burn wouldn't go out over the air!
Logs were hand typed every day AND included every single element on the air.
Automation tapes were bicycled from station to station. (I hope I don't have to explain that one!)
You took transmitter readings every hour.
All the Third Class Operators Licenses were posted on a wall - and you had to study for a test just to get one!
ALL radio stations had news... twice an hour.
FM??? It's only good for night ball games after the AM daytimer signed off.
You went by the FCC book. Including the correct mumber of PSA's
Your top and bottom of the hour I.D.s included frequency, city and STATE.
Only Chicago clear chammels could leave the state off.
Stations did not have names. Only call letters... no B..something or Z something...or whatever.
'In The Public Interest' was a phrase that actually meant something.
'Group Ownership' meant a group of people owned the station.
You know what it means to "clear the wire".
You know the meaning of "five bell or ten bell" alerts.
Re-inking teletype ribbons.
You know what a patch cord is and used them often.
You had to go to the station 45 minutes early to turn on the filaments on the transmitter before you punched up the plate power.
When AM was the "live" part of the station and the FM was on a 6 deck reel-to-reel automation system with 3 carousels.
When you said "GATES" and everyone knew what equipment brand you were talking about.
You had to leave your AM air shift to check the tapes (especially the "dead roll" on the FM automation system).
You still instinctively snap awake ready to start the next event when you hear the Monitor Beacon.
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